Wishing to be home

I look around me, there's nothing to see.
Just a small room with nothing but me.
To the left a wall, to the right just another
And up above just the ceiling, my cover.
Living in a new world, a brilliant dream.
And yet all alone, is all i've been.

It is no surprise to those that read.
This ill begotten life that i now lead.
Through the torment and pain,
the hectic cries in the night,
To wish i were back, back where i belong
But i promised, oh yes, that i'd be strong.

I walk along in the chilling air outside
It's not like, i thought, mind riddled in lies
It is paradise in it's own way
But is it really somewhere for me to stay?
I see so many beautiful sights,
and yet here i reside, caught in my internal fight.

Do i dare mutter the words in my mind?
That this is not the happiness i'd hoped to find?
Just give it more time, i thought,
And with dedication will be the happiness i sought,
My life begins again with this brand new land,
Just out last my own fears, to make my stand.

Despite my fears i must carry on,
Persevere, i will have my life before too long.
All that i've left i still retain,
It is for myself now that i must sustain.
defeat this illness of heart and mind,
Oh i wish i were home, was all that I pined.

I want to be back, I miss it all.
By god have am i really such a fool?
I risked it all for this one swift chance,
and now i take such a passive stance.
I'm confused, in a state, muddled at best,
But i'll say it now this world's a test.

For I shall continue, to live this now,
Moving on through all this pain somehow.
I don't know how i'll continue to live,
When i've given all I have to give.
But I will Continue, I will survive,
For when she is here, our love, shall thrive.